Surpassing Survival
The Call to Thrive
Over the years, I’ve heard varying people express their desire for change. Many times, this desire can be boiled down to one thing—a determination to live better than the generation before them. A man who didn't know his father will strive to ensure his kids know who he is. Those who grew up in financial lack often work tirelessly to ensure their basic needs are always met. If we experienced chaos at home, we may create structured environments for our families.
These intentions are good and necessary. They represent our deep love for those who come after us and our commitment to breaking harmful cycles. But here's what I've also observed in my years of healing and coaching: while these efforts create improvement from one generation to the next, they often keep us operating from a mindset of survival, rather than a mindset of thriving.
We may become so focused on not repeating our parents' mistakes that we never fully step into the abundance God designed for us. We upgrade from poverty to paycheck-to-paycheck, from absent to present but emotionally guarded, from chaos to rigid control. We're still surviving—just on a higher level.
But God's design is for us to live in abundance in every area of life.
The Generational Survival Pattern
In my research with urban communities, I've witnessed this pattern repeatedly. One participant in my study described it perfectly: "When you're in survival mode, don't nothing really mean much to you 'cause you just trying to make it from one day to another."
This survival mentality becomes so ingrained that even when our circumstances improve, our internal operating system remains stuck in crisis mode. We may have moved from government assistance to steady employment, but we're still hoarding resources "just in case." We may have created stable homes, but we're still hypervigilant about potential threats. We may have broken the cycle of addiction, but we're still living with the emotional numbness that helped us cope.
Survival mode served us when we needed it. It helped our ancestors endure unimaginable hardship. It helped our parents navigate systems that weren't designed for their success. It helped us make it through childhood trauma and young adult mistakes.
But what got us through those experiences won't get us into our destiny.
Through divine revelation, I've come to understand that generational trauma moves through families in three distinct phases:
The Hiders are those who, for whatever reason, couldn't speak about their trauma. The consequences of revealing their pain outweighed the potential benefits. They survived by keeping secrets, by carrying burdens silently, by protecting others from the truth of their experiences.
The Holders are those who either shared their pain openly or had it revealed in other ways. They struggled publicly with the weight of their trauma—through addiction, unhealthy relationships, cycles of poverty, or other visible forms of suffering. They survived by enduring, by carrying what felt too heavy to release.
The Healers are those called to finally break the generational patterns. We are the ones equipped with resources, awareness, and divine empowerment to transform inherited pain into wisdom, to turn survival strategies into thriving practices.
If you're reading this, you are likely a healer. You're here because of the strength of the hiders and the endurance of the holders. But your assignment is different from theirs. While they were called to survive, you are called to thrive!
From Survival Thinking to Abundance Thinking
The shift from survival to thriving requires more than trying to change our circumstances—it requires transforming our mindset. Here are some key transitions I am, personally, practicing making this transition:
From Scarcity to Sufficiency
Survival thinking: "There's never enough. I have to hoard what I have."
Thriving thinking: "What I need will be there when I need it. I can be generous because abundance is my birthright."
From Hypervigilance to Trust
Survival thinking: "I must stay alert to all potential threats. If I let my guard down, something bad will happen."
Thriving thinking: "While I remain wise and discerning, I can trust that I am divinely protected and guided."
From Perfectionism to Progress
Survival thinking: "I can't make any mistakes because I can't afford to fail."
Thriving thinking: "Every experience, including mistakes, is contributing to my growth and wisdom."
From Isolation to Community
Survival thinking: "I can only depend on myself. Needing others makes me vulnerable." Thriving thinking: "I am designed for connection and interdependence. Receiving support allows me to give from overflow."
From Proving to BEing
Survival thinking: "I must constantly prove my worth through achievement and productivity." Thriving thinking: "My value is inherent. I can rest in who I am while joyfully expressing my gifts."
The Divine Design for Abundance
As a student of the Bible, I notice that God's promises have never been about mere survival—they’re about abundance! The Divine desires for us to live an abundant life (John 10:10) and is postured to give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4)!
This doesn't mean we're promised lives without challenge—but it does mean we're created for more than just getting by. God’s intent is that we flourish spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and yes, even materially.
The problem is that survival mode often convinces us that wanting more is selfish or unrealistic. We settle for "better than it was" instead of reaching for "the best it can be." We become so accustomed to crisis management that we don't know how to steward blessings.
Practical Steps to Thriving
1. Recognize Your Survival Patterns
Ask yourself: Where am I still operating from fear rather than faith? What areas of my life feel stuck in "just enough" rather than "more than enough"? What good things do I struggle to receive because part of me believes I don't deserve them?
2. Grieve What You Didn't Get
Thriving requires acknowledging what was missing in previous generations—not to blame, but to mourn so you can heal. You can honor your parents' survival while grieving the abundance they couldn't provide.
3. Redefine Success
Instead of measuring success by how much better you're doing than the previous generation, start measuring it by how fully you're expressing your divine potential. The goal isn't just improvement—it's transformation.
4. Practice Receiving
Many of us who've been in survival mode are better at giving than receiving. Practice accepting compliments, help, gifts, and opportunities. Learn to say "thank you" instead of resisting or denying what’s being given to you!
5. Cultivate Abundance Consciousness
Begin each day by acknowledging what you already have. Practice gratitude not just for material provision, but for your health, relationships, opportunities, and spiritual connection. Remember, you are an extension of the Divine Source in the earth—thus, you have access to everything! Abundance consciousness creates space for more abundance to flow.
6. Invest in Your Thriving
The same energy you've been putting into survival can be redirected toward thriving. This might mean therapy to heal trauma, coaching to expand your vision, education to develop gifts, or spiritual practices to deepen your faith. Just like you’ve learned and practiced walking in your current level of survival, new learning (and unlearning) is required so that you can steward the abundance that awaits!
Your Divine Assignment
Here's what I pray that you understand: your thriving isn't just about you. When you step into the abundance God designed for you, you become a living testimony that it's possible. Your children and grandchildren don't just need you to survive better than your parents did—they need you to show them what thriving looks like.
Your financial abundance teaches them that poverty isn't their inheritance. Your emotional health shows them that trauma doesn't have to define their future. Your spiritual vitality demonstrates that the Source has provided them with an internal wellspring—where wisdom and power reside.
Every area where you choose to thrive rather than just survive creates a new template for the generations that follow.
If you've been living in survival mode for so long that it's become your identity, I want to invite you into something more. You don't have to carry the weight of just getting by anymore. You don't have to be satisfied with "better than it was."
God has more for you—more joy, more peace, more resources, more opportunities, more love, more purpose. Not because you've earned it through your survival, but because abundance is your divine design.
The same Presence that sustained your ancestors through their trials is now inviting you to step into fullness. The skills that helped you survive are about to become the foundation for your thriving.
Your survival story isn't the end—it's the preface to your abundance story.
The journey from survival to thriving isn't about abandoning the wisdom you gained in difficult seasons. It's about building on that foundation to create something even more beautiful. It's about honoring the strength of those who came before you while refusing to be limited by the constraints they faced.
We are not called to just do better than the generations before us. We are called to step into the fullness of what God has always intended for our lineages. We are called to be the generation that finally claims the abundance that has been waiting for someone with the courage to ask for it and receive it!
Your ancestors survived so that you could thrive!!!
Love & Blessings!❤️🙏🏽
Dr. Sylvia Nicole
Want more insights on how to connect with the divine within you? Check out my new book: The Beauty of Brokenness - Falling Into Love, available now in e-book or paperback on Amazon!